Walter: Japanese culture is famous for its Kata – refined procedures that govern almost every part of life. In part because of this cultural framework, it’s easy for Japanese to accept rules pertaining to social behaviors. The funny thing is, we see some of them being broken all the time. These are great examples of the danger of making generalizations about any group of people. As homogenous as Japanese society is, everyone is not the same.
1) 1) Cars drive on the left and people walk on the left. This is the rule, but far too often, I’ve found people walking on the far right side of the side walk (their right / my left) staring you down with no where for you to go. I was really surprised by this because it seems like such an easy rule to follow. Then a pattern started to emerge: it’s usually an old guy incredulous to your existence. I`ve begun to realize that old guys can basically do whatever they want.
2) Never blow your nose in public. It’s almost the equivalent to farting in public for us. OK, I’ve never actually seen anyone blow their nose in a real public place – for instance in a train station or on the streets – but there are plenty of people at work that blow their nose in the office. Actually, it’s usually the old guy again. Besides, what’s the alternative?
3) Don’t eat in public places. In the US, we like eat our Super Slurpies and power bars and cheeseburgers in our car, on the streets, on the train, etc.. In Japan: not on the street, not on the train, not in the rain, not…you get the idea. Even if you buy a cup of coffee for take-out, they will hide it in a small paper bag so that you don’t offend anyone after you leave the shop. Parks are the exception to this. While on the way to work, I did see one guy walking down the street drinking from a can of coffee and holding a cigarette in the other hand. One guy. Plus me. I eat all the time because my blood sugar plunges suddenly – especially when I’m agitated by rude behavior like eating in public. Two guys in all of Tokyo and one is a gai-jin (foreign person). P.S. I saw that same guy on the same street the other day and this time he had a can of coffee in one hand and 7-Eleven danish in the other. The nerve!
4) All Japanese men carry a handkerchief to dry their hands after using the rest room, but never to blow their nose. Many public rest rooms and rest rooms in restaurants have no means at all for drying your hands. This reminds me of a sign I saw in a restroom in Singapore. Again, the restroom had no air dryer, paper towels or anything. The sign read: “Please don’t shake your hands around causing water to fly all over the mirror and floor.” An excellent example of both sides not understanding each other’s perspective. I usually don’t carry a handkerchief. I shake my hands around wildly and then stick my right hand under my left arm to dry it off in case I need to unexpectedly shake someone’s hand (which always seems to happen when my hands are wet). I have seen Japanese men shake their hands around and walk out of the rest room too, so there.
5) Don’t cross your legs at the knee or ankle when talking to someone. I read this in a guidebook recently. No one has ever brought this up with me. I’ve seen people cross their legs before. I don’t get it. When I meet with customers I keep both feet firmly placed on the floor. Not as easy as it sounds. Try it for 2 hours, OK? So, I asked Genevieve’s cousins about this and they confirmed that in business you shouldn’t do it, but it’s mostly old guys that would be offended.
** Double click on photo to enlarge **
6) Japanese people are always polite. When the ambulance comes down our street there is a guy yelling into the PA speaker in addition to the siren. He’s saying something to the effect of: “Please excuse us, we have an emergency and must use this street. Very sorry.” It’s no secret that Japan has a very polite society. But, there are definite pockets of rudeness. We know this pregnant woman that was forcibly elbowed in the stomach by a guy next to her on the train so he could, apparently, make room to read his newspaper. She elbowed him back and he jumped up with a horrified look to change his seat. There appears to be some basic taboo about appearing overtly pregnant in Japan, perhaps it’s too much of a blatant expression of virility or sexuality. So, apparently, people are freaked out by it. There are plenty of examples of rudeness. The old guys complain that the younger generation is becoming more rude, but why is it the old guys that seem to break all the other rules?
7) A request is always met by a quick response. See my post “The Gods Must Be Crazy.” Odd numbers are good luck in Japan, so I had to end with seven.
In summary, old guys can do what they want and act offended when other’s don’t follow the rules. As a foreigner visiting Japan, you will usually be forgiven for not understanding many of the rules here, but it’s always best to make an effort to increase your awareness of what’s considered polite. Just don’t stress out about it too much.
…This may be what it would look like. At least for Kenji. He adores his cousin Yuka. She’s just the right age for him to still be able to play with, look up to, and be bossed around by without getting annoyed. In this pic we were on our way to the train station and then off to the restaurant that Yuka’s parents own — Mirumaru.
Genevieve: I might have mentioned that we went on short trip to Korea in November to renew our visas. You can only be in Japan for 90 days on a tourist visa, and since we were unable to arrange anything different before we left we had to make the trip. Seoul, Korea is only an hour and a half flight from Haneda Airport in Tokyo, so the trip was quite painless. In fact, it was quite enjoyable!
Well, Product of the Week has become more like Product of the Month.
