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Walter: Japanese culture is famous for its Kata – refined procedures that govern almost every part of life. In part because of this cultural framework, it’s easy for Japanese to accept rules pertaining to social behaviors. The funny thing is, we see some of them being broken all the time. These are great examples of the danger of making generalizations about any group of people. As homogenous as Japanese society is, everyone is not the same.
1) 1) Cars drive on the left and people walk on the left. This is the rule, but far too often, I’ve found people walking on the far right side of the side walk (their right / my left) staring you down with no where for you to go. I was really surprised by this because it seems like such an easy rule to follow. Then a pattern started to emerge: it’s usually an old guy incredulous to your existence. I`ve begun to realize that old guys can basically do whatever they want.
2) Never blow your nose in public. It’s almost the equivalent to farting in public for us. OK, I’ve never actually seen anyone blow their nose in a real public place – for instance in a train station or on the streets – but there are plenty of people at work that blow their nose in the office. Actually, it’s usually the old guy again. Besides, what’s the alternative?
3) Don’t eat in public places. In the US, we like eat our Super Slurpies and power bars and cheeseburgers in our car, on the streets, on the train, etc.. In Japan: not on the street, not on the train, not in the rain, not…you get the idea. Even if you buy a cup of coffee for take-out, they will hide it in a small paper bag so that you don’t offend anyone after you leave the shop. Parks are the exception to this. While on the way to work, I did see one guy walking down the street drinking from a can of coffee and holding a cigarette in the other hand. One guy. Plus me. I eat all the time because my blood sugar plunges suddenly – especially when I’m agitated by rude behavior like eating in public. Two guys in all of Tokyo and one is a gai-jin (foreign person). P.S. I saw that same guy on the same street the other day and this time he had a can of coffee in one hand and 7-Eleven danish in the other. The nerve!
4) All Japanese men carry a handkerchief to dry their hands after using the rest room, but never to blow their nose. Many public rest rooms and rest rooms in restaurants have no means at all for drying your hands. This reminds me of a sign I saw in a restroom in Singapore. Again, the restroom had no air dryer, paper towels or anything. The sign read: “Please don’t shake your hands around causing water to fly all over the mirror and floor.” An excellent example of both sides not understanding each other’s perspective. I usually don’t carry a handkerchief. I shake my hands around wildly and then stick my right hand under my left arm to dry it off in case I need to unexpectedly shake someone’s hand (which always seems to happen when my hands are wet). I have seen Japanese men shake their hands around and walk out of the rest room too, so there.
5) Don’t cross your legs at the knee or ankle when talking to someone. I read this in a guidebook recently. No one has ever brought this up with me. I’ve seen people cross their legs before. I don’t get it. When I meet with customers I keep both feet firmly placed on the floor. Not as easy as it sounds. Try it for 2 hours, OK? So, I asked Genevieve’s cousins about this and they confirmed that in business you shouldn’t do it, but it’s mostly old guys that would be offended.
** Double click on photo to enlarge **
6) Japanese people are always polite. When the ambulance comes down our street there is a guy yelling into the PA speaker in addition to the siren. He’s saying something to the effect of: “Please excuse us, we have an emergency and must use this street. Very sorry.” It’s no secret that Japan has a very polite society. But, there are definite pockets of rudeness. We know this pregnant woman that was forcibly elbowed in the stomach by a guy next to her on the train so he could, apparently, make room to read his newspaper. She elbowed him back and he jumped up with a horrified look to change his seat. There appears to be some basic taboo about appearing overtly pregnant in Japan, perhaps it’s too much of a blatant expression of virility or sexuality. So, apparently, people are freaked out by it. There are plenty of examples of rudeness. The old guys complain that the younger generation is becoming more rude, but why is it the old guys that seem to break all the other rules?
7) A request is always met by a quick response. See my post “The Gods Must Be Crazy.” Odd numbers are good luck in Japan, so I had to end with seven.
In summary, old guys can do what they want and act offended when other’s don’t follow the rules. As a foreigner visiting Japan, you will usually be forgiven for not understanding many of the rules here, but it’s always best to make an effort to increase your awareness of what’s considered polite. Just don’t stress out about it too much.
Well, Product of the Week has become more like Product of the Month. One problem I have is that some stores have signs up not to take pictures and some items I don’t really care to buy. For this one, the name speaks for itself. I read this name as “creep” and suddenly radio-head is playing in my mind. Technically, the Japanese pronunciation would be “Cray-ahp,” I think. Sounds more like “crap.” It’s some kind of non-dariy powder that you put in your coffee. Best to stay away from such things since they are usually loaded with hydrogenated oil. Especially if you “…want a perfect body..eeeee… want a perfect…..”
Genevieve: We took the shinkansen (bullet train) down to Kyoto last month for a small vacation. I personally love Kyoto, and would be happy as a clam to live there. Compared to Tokyo, the people seem more laid back, the city is more open and bicycle friendly, and I like the food better too. It helps a lot that I lived there for 6 months 10 yrs ago, so I’m familiar with the layout of the city. Kyoto is the old capital of Japan and is temple and shrine central. There are 2 main religions in Japan–buddhism and shintoism–and both are very well represented in Kyoto. You could literally spend weeks just visiting shrines and temples, but it does get old after a while (esp when you have a 2 yr old), so we found a lot of other things to do as well.
The first day we took it fairly easy and checked out Nanzenji (see pics of Nanzenji: View of foliage from top floor of Sanmon (Gate of Nanzenji) Coming down VERY steep stairs of Sanmon (gate of Nanzenji) View from Sanmon Gate, View of Sanmon from the ground) a very well known Zen temple at the foot of Kyoto’s eastern hills. There are many smaller sub temples within the complex and we were lucky enough to visit one of these as well. Named Konchi-in, it has a beautiful moss and rock garden and some very old and beautiful buildings. Click here for pics of Steps at Konchi-in, Genevieve and Kenji at Konchi-in, Kenji at Konchi-in, Genevieve and Walter at Konchi-in, Walter and Kenji walking by tree roots.
We also went to one of my favorite streets in Kyoto, Teramachi (literally translates to temple street), which is not only lined with temples (hence the name) but is also home to many antique shops, tea shops, and specialty stores (see pic: One of the temples along Teramachi). One of those stores is this amazing paper shop where I used to spend wads of cash on beautiful washi (handmade paper) to line books that I made along with paper for printing woodblocks on. Next store to the paper shop is one of the most famous tea shops in Japan, Ippodo. Unfortunately, formal tea shops and Kenji don’t mix, so we weren’t able to go inside. But my mother (who studies chado/japanese tea ceremony) checked it out and enjoyed a bowl of tea there with her friend who lives in Kyoto. Here are some pics my mom took at the shop when she went: Mom in front of Ippodo,Hostess making tea in Ippodo.
A trip to Kyoto isn’t complete without visiting Kiyomizudera, which is perched on the side of a mountain with a gorgeous view of Kyoto. It is overwhelmed with tourists and schoolchildren (almost all Japanese have been there for a school trip–see pic with sea of yellow hats in the background) most of the time, but it’s truly worth battling the crowds to see this magnificent temple. We ate a lovely lunch of Yudofu (hot boiled tofu) and kitsune* udon (thick wheat noodles with aburage or fried seasoned tofu skin). Japanese food can be so simple and satisfying…I love it! Click the following for some pics of Kiyomzidera: Walter and Kenji at steps to temple, Close-up of Kiyomizudera building, Kenji at water basin, Genevieve and Kenji with main Kiyomizu temple in background, Foliage and pagoda at Kiyomizu, Enjoying lunch at Kiyomizu, My handsome hubby at lunchtime, Healing waterfall at Kiyomizu, Kenji giving coins to Monks.
*note: Kitsune means fox. People believed foxes have supernational power and like aburage.
Part 2 of this post will come later since I’m tired and this post is already getting too long.
Here’s a short list:
Yakusoku’s home cooking a really charming site featuring food and menus by a Japanese woman, translated by her daughter.
Obachan’s kitchen written by an American living in Japan. She does interesting east meets west dishes.
Sushiday: Sushi, sushi and more sushi.
Blue Lotus: A Canadian living in Tokyo. I wish she wrote her recipes down! But her food descriptions are nice.
Bento: I just love this Japanese girl’s pics and the fact that she makes these beautiful bento boxes for herself to eat.
Bento.com: This site is great. Not only are there recipes, but there are also restaurant reviews, food features, lists of places to visit, you name it.
Dr. Stonieloves Bewildered Beast: The writer is vegan and has all sorts of delectable sounding recipes.
Oh and while I’m at it, I found this cool site on Miso (if you haven’t eaten it, you should try it–it’s really simple to make and delicious!)
Oh and I also can’t leave out My Korean Kitchen a blog on Korean and Korean fusion food–on a recent trip to Korea in November, I was in heaven! I love, love Korean food! They serve pickles with everything and they use a TON of garlic. Apparently, Walter could smell it on random people’s skin when we were walking around Seoul. I think I had eaten too much of it myself to have noticed. Another good thing is that Kenji loves spicy food–including kimchi!
Genevieve: I’ve noticed that a lot of the famous actors used here in popular ads are Western actors. And many of them are tired and old looking. If you saw the movie Lost in Translation where Bill Murray portrayed a weary and jaded movie star acting in Japanese whisky commercials, this was a suprisingly accurate portrayal of what I’m talking about. I mean of course actors like Cameron Diaz and Brad Pitt are popular and used in cell phone commercials and other ads, but the Japanese do seem to have a definite fondness for old tired white men. Be it Tommy Lee Jones, 
Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone, or Steven Segal, they like them. Anyways, I snapped this shot of a vending machine up the street from our apt. This particular ad is actually all over Tokyo–trains, billboards over Shibuya crossing–everywhere. It features Tommy Lee Jones advertising suntory BOSS coffee in a can. When I pointed this ad out to Walter, he said that maybe they used his image because he looks so tired that he obviously needs help from the coffee. I don’t think so–seems like too much of a stretch to me. Whatever the reason though, he sure does look tired.
Walter: There are many Shinto shrines and Buddhist Temples in Japan even in the heart of Tokyo. Kyoto and neighboring Nara have some of the largest and most beautiful. On a recent trip to Kyoto it seemed to us that the temples and shrines populated every neighborhood. Kenji has become fond of what he started to call “Buddha houses” and often asked me to see “boo-dah.” The problem is shrines don’t have any Buddha so I inaccurately referred to the statues in these places as “Buddha’s brothers” and Kenji once said, mimicking a Dr. Seuss story, “that one’s Boo-dah’s other brother (OK, if you know the book, it’s a little funny)” But, that’s not what this story is about….
It’s customary before entering a shrine to first wash your hands by pouring water from bamboo ladles at a washing station designed for this purpose. Don’t do this over the water basin, but over the trough around the basin. You can optionally pour some water into a cupped hand and rinse your mouth. Now you are adequately cleansed for the next step. At the entrance to the shrine, there is a donation box with a number of long slats at the top. Throw a coin in and then immediately clap your hands together twice at about chest level followed by a bow. You are clapping to “the gods” while the gods are answering your back with an echo. There is always a clap and then a response.
I’m told that this clap and response is mirrored in business dealings. Whenever you call or email to someone, a fast response is expected. Clap, echo. If I get an email with a request, I will at least respond with “Thank you for your request. I need some more time to look into the details. I will get back to you on Friday.” This is good business practice anywhere, but it’s especially important in Japan to respond quickly.
My first few days on the job in Tokyo were fairly quiet so I did email for 8-10 hours a day and felt like I was getting carpel tunnel. I sent an email to the IT guy who I had met in person the day before and asked him if I could get a monitor, full-sized keyboard and mouse to plug into my laptop. In Japanese business situations, you might not get a response from a person that you’ve never met face-to-face with before since they really don’t understand who you are or where you fit in the hierarchy and don’t feel any personal connection to you.
But I had met the guy, so email should have been fine. No response. Clap, no echo. The cultural notes from my Pimsleur’s Japanese lessons (highly recommended) reminds me: “A long delay in responding may be another form of refusal. In Japan, unless you are speaking with someone you know very well and a mutual trust exists, you will rarely hear a straight answer given to a difficult question, especially when the answer involves some kind of refusal.” So, there may be a thousand reasons why this guy didn’t respond, but today it remains a cultural mystery. It’s probably something to do with proper channels, approval, or his confusion about my status. Same thing when I asked HR about my cell phone plan. The email was ignored, but the HR person came to talk to the admin in my area who then relayed the message to me.
So, my advice to those who might find themselves in business situations here is you need to be responsive, but don’t expect others to be. No response could mean anything, so you need to be patient and try more than one person to communicate with and decode what is going on. And when you’re done doing business, check out a temple or shrines and relax. Listen carefully for the echo.
P.S – I got my docking station, monitor, keyboard and mouse on November 7, eight weeks after my arrival. I think I hear clapping. The problem had to do with proper channels and the inability of this guy to do anything without his boss’ approval. But as it was put to me by a Japanese co-worker: “…it is his problem; at least he could have tried.”
The views expressed herein are solely those of the author.
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Walter: Days since I’ve driven a car: 83. Day’s since I’ve purchased gasoline: 83. Number of train lines in greater Tokyo: more than 100 (it’s hard to find a single train map that shows them all because it would be too complicated to read). Number of trains arriving Tokyo Central Station daily: over 4000. Number of nuclear power plants in Japan: 53. The photo is of the Shinkansen arriving into Shinagawa station just before we left for Kyoto. The bullet train can travel at speeds over 180 MPH on more or less normal tracks.
